The Plainclothes Experiment

On a Sunday about a month ago, I reflected on my Sabbath Day worship habits.  As I pondered, I felt inspired to do something different.  The idea blossomed in my mind to try an experiment: wear regular clothes to church. Some would say that manifests disrespect, and all would say it breaches a norm.  Nevertheless, I try to follow through on ideas that feel like inspiration.  I think three weeks is a reasonable trial period, and will start tomorrow (22 May).  If you see me at church during these three weeks and wonder:

Why I’m wearing everyday clothes today

1)      I live with greater integrity by more accurately reflecting what’s inside (an incomplete, not-that-well-put-together-yet person), on the outside.

2)      A weakness of mine is to just go through the motions.  This helps shake me awake enough to really focus on Sabbath worship. 

3)      1 Samuel 16:7:

 “for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 

I have another weakness- I tend to care too much about the judgments of men.  Wearing regular clothes reminds me that the condition of my heart matters infinitely more than the condition of my clothes.

Reports

Week 1)       I ended up attending another ward today, contrary to my plans. It was a YSA ward. A middle-aged woman let me sit in her pew when I asked. I talked to a couple members about the when and where of priesthood and Sunday School, etc., and they treated me normally. I participated by reading scriptures in Sunday School. I even got to be part of an Abraham-Lazarus-rich man role play. (it added to the richness of the experience for me to be Lazarus, the beggar, because I had the most beggarly clothes in the group- a hole in the knee of my jeans and a black 5K run T-shirt). One middle-aged man asked me my name- he had a clipboard and was just checking to see whether I was visiting or not. No one asked me about my clothes, treated me extra-friendly or extra- standoffish.

All in all, my dress was pretty much a non-issue! I experienced a modest increase in focus on the "why" of church attendance, and the social aspect seemed to be little different either way. We'll see what happens in week 2 and week 3, which should be in my home ward!

 Week 2)      Last night *Brian from the ward called to ask me to give the opening prayer in Sacrament meeting.  Knowing that I wouldn't be wearing church clothes, I hesitated.  Then I accepted, figuring that the invocation probably isn't as freighted as participating in the Sacrament, so though it'd be atypical, it should be okay.  Boy was I wrong.

I arrived a little early as I usually do.  I actually took the time to prepare the opening prayer!  I don't usually think much in advance about a prayer, but I thought it might add to the meeting to have a more meaningful invocation.  I planned to pray something like this:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we thank thee that we can meet here as a ward this morning to worship.  As we participate in the Sacrament ordinance today, please help us to remember the Savior.  Help us to evaluate our standing before thee, review our lives, and increase our discipleship.  Please bless those that don't know thee, and help us to be united.  We acknowledge our mistakes and ask for forgiveness, and please help us remember to forgive one another.  We're grateful for sources of spiritual strength in our lives, such as prayer, scriptures, and each other.  Please help us magnify our callings.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Anyway, I also needed to pay tithing, so I filled out my slip and was reviewing my prayer when Brother *Janis from the Bishopric sat down behind me.  The Bishop was out of town, so I think he was in charge.  He said my name, so I turned around and said hello, and gave him my tithing.  He asked if they could have me give the prayer on a different day.  I said "sure, that's fine," he said thanks, then returned to his place on the stand.  Shortly after, the meeting began. 

Sunday School was fairly non-eventful, and we discussed the story of Jesus abiding with Zaccheus, a short publican.  I sat by my girlfriend, as I did in Sacrament meeting, and we usually have a fun time together whatever we're doing- and church was no exception.  Perhaps her presence partly explains why no one besides my roommates asked me about or noted my out-of-the-ordinary attire; perhaps not.  I had a couple of my roommates somewhat casually ask me what I was doing/ following up on how the experiment was going (I had told a few of them about it).  I gave them a little card I had printed several copies of that explained the three reasons I articulated above.  I had expected to need those cards much more than I ended up needing them.  I had a few normal small-talk conversations with friends in the ward on normal subjects.  


Elders' Quorum was interesting.  A friend of mine in the quorum noticed that my shoe was resting on the cushion of the chair in front of me (he noticed my regular clothes too, of course).  His jaw went visibly rigid, and before the meeting started as folks were chatting here and there he delivered a moderate-length lecture about respect, and didn't your parents teach you to respect the furniture, we don't build the chapels like they used to do so we don't feel as attached to the buildings, when respect dies there's mob rule and chaos, and I would appreciate it if you'd take your foot off the chair.  Ironically, my leg was supporting the conference edition of the Ensign, which I had covered and bound (so it lasts longer in my backpack, since I like to study the Apostles + First Presidency addresses each time- I have a pretty good collection now after several years of the habit) and was reading before the meeting began.  His speech failed to persuade me, though I acknowledged that I heard him.  The lesson was about Elder Oaks's address on desire, and since I had the talk in front of me, I was able to make some useful comments which also directly quoted from the talk (an excellent message, by the way).  The same friend who had lectured me on respect, following the manners your parents taught you, etc. commented at one point about gays and that they have to desire to change and that atmosphere and desire and everything must be leveraged.  The discussion quickly left that uncomfortable subject (I wasn't the only one in the room to wince), so I decided not to contest his comment.  The lesson was above average in applicability and that it got us thinking and challenged the quorum a bit.  I shared an experience from my Organizational Behavior class about the motivating power of inspiring examples/role models.  After the meeting, I rounded up my roommates and drove them home.  

Commentary:  Once again, there were fewer comments than I had expected.  It was also less uncomfortable than I feared.  Having a hole in each knee of my jeans and my lovely "Social Venture Competition: Build, Innovate, Inspire" black T-shirt didn't seem a big issue. Of course, it could be that I was very noticed and talked about outside my awareness. 

Some might think the withdrawal of the invitation to give the invocation was harsh.  After all, not praying in public is a consequence usually reserved for excommunicated members.  However, I thought the Bishopric member was very tactful, and I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt on his judgment of the matter, though it did sting a little. 

As to the lecturer, I figure you're going to have one or two folks like that in every crowd, so it's not a big deal.

I love my ward!  This is a great Church too- just wonderful people.  I sat by my friend Laura Crenshaw in Sunday School, too.  I have this weird history of randomly being assigned to home teach girls I've been friends with or met in the recent past- and I just got assigned to her.  Kind of cool, and a good lesson to me: be nice to everyone, because you never know when you might be assigned to home teach them, and then if you were callous towards them, how awkward!  Anyway, week three's report should post in about a week.  The Bishop might be back, so we'll see if anything noteworthy happens.  In any case, I should be back to normal Church clothes in two Sundays!

Week 3)  On June 12, I planned to complete the experiment.  I dressed up in normal clothes, but at 8 am read a text message informing me that my apartment had been asked to do the Sacrament.  One or two of my roommates wouldn't consider themselves worthy, one had left already, and two were in the choir. I'm a sucker for a call to serve, so after some internal conflict I dressed in my suit, bought a loaf of bread from my roommate, arrived early, and prepared the bread, water, and sacrament table. I ended up saying the bread prayer.  The Bishop came in a little before the meeting and sat alone on the back row when the chapel was mostly still empty- I think he watched me prepare the sacrament for a minute.  He also attended Elders' Quorum for a few minutes, and I offered a couple comments there.  I think he may have changed his plan to talk with me, as I had heard he intended to- he never spoke to me the whole block.  Anyway, I plan to do week three this coming Sunday, though I may be in Denver visiting some of my siblings.  

June 19- I wore plainclothes for the third Sunday, completing my experiment.  I went to a ward in Denver (I'm visiting my siblings out here) and wore my jeans and a polo.  One law school peer was in attendance, I later learned.  I felt a little embarrassed at times, but did my usual 2-3 comments per class, admired the Bishop's skills (a somewhat simple, but genuine and positive fellow), and made a few connections.  Not a word about my clothes, and neither over-friendliness nor overly standoffish.  Much like in week one, it was a surprisingly non-issue.  It was funny in EQ though.  I usually bring a book to read in case things get slow at church, and this time I brought atheist Richard Dawkin's book, The God Delusion (borrowing from my sister).  One participant talked about the blind faith of atheists that believe in the big bang- thought it was kind of ironic, as I looked up from my book to listen to his comment.

Back to the topic. In retrospect, I'm glad I followed through on this experiment.  It caused me some anxiety and I learned a few lessons, though all in all it didn't prove to be a huge deal either way.  To those who followed this experiment, thanks for your interest and comments!